NHL
NHL Preseason
Yesterday, we took the Bizarro-meter out of storage and brushed off the cobwebs to start our annual search for the NHL’s weirdest offseason. We covered the Eastern Conference in that post, which you can find here, with the Sabres and Penguins leading the way.
Now it’s the West’s turn. Can one of these 16 teams sneak in and steal the crown? Spoiler: Yes, although maybe not the way you’d expect …
The offseason so far: They didn’t change a ton, although they found a way to keep Brock Nelson and adding Brent Burns should be fun.
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But their strangest story was: Good teams having quiet offseasons aren’t typically shocking stories. But in Colorado’s case, it’s at least a little surprising after their captain dropped an “I don’t know what we’re going to do” quote after a first-round loss.
Bizarro-meter ranking: 3.5/10. The Avs don’t seem like a team in crisis. But they do seem like a team that’s one more early exit away from being in crisis.
The offseason so far: They landed one of the biggest names on offseason trade boards when they dealt for Buffalo’s JJ Peterka.
But their strangest story was: Trading Matias Maccelli was mildly odd, given that you’d think a young player one year removed from a solid season would fit into what they were building. Then again, they know him better than anyone else, so maybe they really didn’t like what they saw last season.
Bizarro-meter ranking: 3.6/10. Oh, and congrats on finally picking a name.
The offseason so far: They lost Nikolaj Ehlers for nothing as a free agent, which stings, although they added a few depth pieces who should make up some of that offense. They also got the Gabriel Vilardi deal done.
But their strangest story was: Signing Jonathan Toews. He’s the local guy making a comeback, so the fit makes perfect sense. But after 15 seasons in Chicago, he’s one of those guys who will look super weird in another uniform, at least at first.
Bizarro-meter ranking: 4.1/10. For now, Toews just being back on the ice is good news.
The offseason so far: No major changes, but they made some moves, highlighted by sending Zack Bolduc to Montreal for Logan Mailloux.
But their strangest story was: The rumors that they’d make a big move involving Robert Thomas or (more likely) Jordan Kyrou. Nothing ever came of it, but you rarely hear about a team’s best players being on the block.
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Bizarro-meter ranking: 4.3/10. Also slightly weird: The Milan Lucic PTO, given he hasn’t played since 2023.
The offseason so far: Not much, which maybe isn’t a shock given how last year’s offseason championship led to a disastrous season.
But their strangest story was: Trading for Nicolas Hague made a certain amount of sense, but immediately giving him one of the league’s worst contracts did not.
Bizarro-meter ranking: 5.3/10. You could argue that Andrew Brunette keeping his job was also at least mildly bizarre, although maybe having a longtime coach as your GM helps in the patience department.
The offseason so far: The big change came behind the bench, where Jeff Blashill gets another chance as a head coach after middling results in Detroit. But in terms of the roster, not much, aside from giving Spencer Knight more money than you might have expected.
But their strangest story was: That “not much.” Nobody thinks this team is one player away from contention, but at some point, a rebuild needs to do more than draft a bunch of top prospects and then wait.
Bizarro-meter ranking: 6.5/10. I gave them a few bonus points for using a first-round pick on a quarterback. Hopefully, that works out better for them than it usually does for the Bears.
The offseason so far: They’re yet another team that didn’t do a ton, settling for Nico Sturm and Vladimir Tarasenko, which was a mild surprise after most of us had already penciled UFA Brock Boeser into the lineup. But the bigger news was the lack of a Kirill Kaprizov extension.
But their strangest story was: The reports that Kaprizov turned down a deal that would have made him the NHL’s highest-paid player by more than a little bit. This one always felt like it would get done because the Wild wouldn’t let it end any other way, but now you have to at least wonder.
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Bizarro-meter ranking: 6.8/10. The Kaprizov situation is in the early stages, which means it’s not super weird quite yet. Terrifying for Wild fans, sure, but not super weird.
The offseason so far: Perpetual GM of the Year Jim Nill stayed busy, although the biggest headlines were around who he kept, with team-friendly contracts for Matt Duchene and captain Jamie Benn helping them balance a tough cap situation. We’re still waiting to see what they do with Jason Robertson, though.
But their strangest story was: Making a coaching change, especially as late as they made it. Is Glen Gulutzan really an upgrade over Pete DeBoer? Maybe not, but he’d been there a while without getting them over the conference final hump, and standards are high in Dallas.
Bizarro-meter ranking: 7.4/10. You’d love to know if DeBoer still gets fired if not for that weird Jake Oettinger pull. Either way, seeing a team with this much sustained success make a coaching change is very rare in today’s NHL, especially when it comes so late that the old guy can’t find a new job.
The offseason so far: In terms of addition and subtraction, they did next to nothing.
But their strangest story was: Giving goalie Dustin Wolf a record-breaking extension after one season. It’s a risk, absolutely, although Wolf sure looks like the league’s next franchise goaltender.
Bizarro-meter ranking: 4.5/10. I gave them a slight nudge up based on their captain saying a teammate’s pending trade is “obvious,” which is rare, even if in this case it’s pretty clearly true.
The offseason so far: The rebuild marches on, with another elite prospect, a few veterans added and the buyout of Marc-Edouard Vlasic.
But their strangest story was: Trading for Montreal’s Carey Price and the final year of his $10.5 million cap hit. We’re used to these sorts of cap-floor deals by now, but it will always be strange to see Price on another team, even if it’s only a technicality.
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Bizarro-meter ranking: 5.3/10. Which is the weirdest Technical San Jose Shark, Carey Price or Mark Messier?
The offseason so far: They essentially flipped Andre Burakovsky for Mason Marchment, which was a win. Otherwise, they were mostly quiet in free agency, which, after last year, probably wasn’t a bad thing.
But their strangest story was: Making changes at coach and GM, which on the surface isn’t all that shocking given their lack of recent success. Lane Lambert replacing Dan Bylsma was a mild surprise, given that the latter only got one year, and you might say the same for moving on from Ron Francis upstairs to make room for assistant GM Jason Botterill in what felt like more of a succession than an outright change.
Bizarro-meter ranking: 5.8/10. Neither Lambert nor Botterill was especially impressive in their first stints in New York and Buffalo, respectively, although that doesn’t mean they can’t succeed in Seattle.
The offseason so far: They landed the biggest name available, as usual. It did cost them a decent player in Nicolas Roy, though, and Alex Pietrangelo’s career could be over.
But their strangest story was: That whole thing where it was reported that the Leafs thought they’d tampered with Mitch Marner, which was front-page news for a day and then forgotten.
Bizarro-meter ranking: 5.9/10. It was certainly newsworthy, and the tampering stuff was weird. But at this point, “Golden Knights go all in on superstar acquisition” is one of the least bizarre stories the NHL can have.
The offseason so far: They finally made two trades that have been rumored for years, sending Trevor Zegras to Philadelphia and John Gibson to Detroit. They also added Chris Kreider from the Rangers, which will be another “takes some getting used to” sight. And in maybe the biggest move, they hired Joel Quenneville as coach.
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But their strangest story was: Signing Mikael Granlund to an expensive albeit short-ish UFA deal. It wasn’t necessarily a move you’d expect from a rebuilding team, although they had cap space and eventually you do need to add real players.
Bizarro-meter ranking: 6.1/10. None of the individual moves were all that surprising, unless you thought Quenneville would stay unemployed forever. But it all added up to a newsworthy offseason and a very different Ducks team heading into an important year.
The offseason so far: They fired GM Rob Blake and replaced him with Ken Holland.
But their strangest story was: Pretty much everything Holland did after that, as he put together an offseason that’s fair to say did not get rave reviews. Dom’s model had the Kings’ summer ranked as the league’s worst, calling it “subtraction by addition.”
Bizarro-meter ranking: 6.8/10. The bad grades for Holland’s work have been near-unanimous, and hockey fans are almost never universally right about anything. That’s the best I can do as far as optimism for you, Kings fans.
The offseason so far: There was minimal movement, with Pius Suter out and Evander Kane in. Maybe more importantly, they didn’t move Elias Pettersson before his trade protection kicked in on July 1, although that always felt like a severe long shot. They also gave Thatcher Demko an expensive extension coming off a season largely lost to injury, leaving $13 million on the books for goaltending.
But their strangest story was: Team president Jim Rutherford’s postseason press conference that saw him say the quiet part out loud when it came to Quinn Hughes playing with his brothers. If acknowledging the obvious was supposed to quiet the story down, it’s fair to say it hasn’t worked.
Bizarro-meter ranking: 7.3/10. After being the league’s most drama-infested team during the season, the Canucks calmed things down a bit over the summer. But only a bit.
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The offseason so far: They saw a lot of veteran depth move on, although they did add Andrew Mangiapane on a solid deal. The bigger news was getting Evan Bouchard’s new deal done, as well as a Trent Frederic extension that was certainly interesting.
But their strangest story was: It’s a dead heat between not being able to extend Connor McDavid and not doing anything at all to address the goaltending.
No doubt, those two stories are completely unrelated. But hear me out: Maybe when you have one of the greatest players in the history of the sport doing everything short of blinking “I’m out of here if we don’t win” in Morse code during interviews, you want to take a bit of a bigger swing than Mangiapane? Stan Bowman was hired to be the closer in Edmonton, who’d put the finishing touches on a championship roster just like he did when he replaced Dale Tallon in Chicago. Instead, he’s mostly stayed the course, even though that course could be headed toward disaster.
Bizarro-meter ranking: 7.9/10. Sure, we’re all going to look back on this and laugh when McDavid eventually signs his extension and says he never really thought about leaving. But until then, the Oilers might be the first team to ever earn the Bizarro-meter crown for things that didn’t happen.
(Photo: Perry Nelson / Imagn Images)
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Sean McIndoe has been a senior NHL writer with The Athletic since 2018. He launched Down Goes Brown in 2008 and has been writing about hockey ever since, with stops including Grantland, Sportsnet and Vice Sports. His book, “The Down Goes Brown History of the NHL,” is available in book stores now. Follow Sean on Twitter @DownGoesBrown
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